Amazingly Normal
“Don’t you think that things are just amazing?” I plonked down on the sofa, glugging at the large glass of soft red wine.
“I think things are going well and I think that everyone is supporting each other and I think that it’s all working out well.” Darrell stated as he barely moved his eyes from the sport on the television.
“Huh. Is that all you can say about it! I think it’s amazing, everything is amazing!”
“How many have you had?” Looking over at me now and smiling.
“This is the first, I am serious; Things really are amazing. Adam is amazing, life is amazing, work is amazing, you are amazing. Everything is just amazing; I don’t see how you can be so cool about it all.”
“I just don’t see the need to put thing s or people on a pedestal, that’s all. I don’t want to be amazing, I am not amazing. I am just normal and have faults like everyone else. As long as you and Adam are happy and I am happy, then everything’s just fine.”
“Just fine? Just fine? Things are amazing, I’m telling you. Just because you feel uncomfortable being on a pedestal, don’t assume that others don’t need it or warrant it. I could worship my life right now, everything is just so perfect and calm and I think that’s amazing. Maybe we need to meet in the middle. Maybe I need to get used to life being ok and maybe you need to get used to being on a pedestal, even if it’s only a tiny short one!”
“Yeah ok then if you think that’s the answer!”
Back in the kitchen, I wondered why I am so intent on seeking affirmation or glowing every time someone congratulates me on life and its challenges, why do others not seem to get so excited about things going well.
My memories drifted to a recent conversation with my younger brother, I had been telling him about working, sharing household chores, not being quite so involved in Adams life, moving on. He had not seemed very excited.
“Sarah, I am not taking anything away from anything you have achieved, for anything that Adam has done, for all the things you’ve both surprised us with, or any aspect of your life but you need to realise that what you’re describing is just normal. It’s what the rest of us have had for years.”
“Maybe I just appreciate it more than others because it’s a novelty?”
“Maybe you do, Sis, maybe you do.”
I got off the phone feeling a little deflated. I knew I was wiser than to feel like this. I decided I was just an appreciative person and enthusiastic about Iife. My personality; that’s all. And perhaps a genuine love of life as it is now.
As is so often the case, Adam taught me something. I sometimes make the mistake of thinking that my learning, through Adam; is done. But Adam, in his limited use of language, is astoundingly aware sometimes. And the way he innocently shares his knowledge can be truly mind-blowing.
He wandered into the kitchen and did his usual leaning on the door frame (he finds fully entering a room very difficult).
“Adam do you think our life, as it is now, is amazing or normal?”
“Both.”
“How can it be both Adam?”
He flicked his ears as he does when happiness causes them to feel fizzy.
“Amazing,” he squealed.
“But you said it was amazing and normal.”
“It is.” He grinned.
“Do you mean it’s amazing BECAUSE it’s normal?”
“Yes that’s it.” He was now flicking his ears violently.
“It’s taken us a long time hasn’t it son?”
“Long time. Long time. Long time.”
“And now we think it’s amazing because it is to us, it is amazing!”
“Yeah, long time makes it amazing.”
“Now we are just like everyone else, except only you and me really know what it took to get us here, don’t we?”
“Yep, I like it,” he squeaked in excitement and I knew it was not just me who thinks our life is amazing.